When a child is diagnosed with autism, there is a period of mourning for what might have been. It could be likened to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of death and dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When an adult is newly diagnosed with autism, it is likely to be a relief, the steadying of putting a name on a problem, the door to a more fulfilling life, and a kind of catharsis. Life looks clearer, its blurry focus becomes sharp. It’s an identity that fits, that comes with community, which can satisfy a life-long yearning, finally, for a sense of belonging.

A peer-reviewed study based on 2020 census data estimated that one in 45 adults in the U.S. are autistic. That’s about 7.5 million people….