AN Abergavenny man claims he not only stopped alien life forms from digging up King Arthur’s corpse and defiling it, but he has also turned his back on a “golden opportunity to rule the world” because he “just didn’t need the aggro!”
After alleging that he and his friends discovered the final resting place of the once and future king and had retrieved Excalibur from Tredegar Reservoir, semi-professional paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip told the Chronicle that he was accosted by men in beige suits who were actually extraterrestrials that had been plotting to rule the world for centuries.
“They look a little like your average dickhead,” explained Turnip, “But they’re actually from space and have one goal – to…
