AN Abergavenny man has made the fanciful claim that he is all that stands between this world and eternal night.
“It’s a bold statement I know, but ask anyone, I’ve always been about the statement,” explained semi-professional paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip.
“It was Sir Lancelot who awakened me to my true destiny,” Turnip told the Chronicle between mouthfuls of Scotch egg. “For years I had just sort of coasted along, with no real ambition or motivation other than to have a good time, all the time, but deep down I sort of knew I was born for something special and my new mate Lance confirmed it.”
After meeting a mysterious stranger in Llanfoist Cemetery, Turnip said, “The scales finally fell from my eyes and I saw…
