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UK thieves are stealing anti-burglary dogs (possible nsfw content on page) Flight crew hands out Depends as plane gets knocked off course by Storm Konrad as it tries to land in Spain Interim Columbia president 'heartbroken' after DHS thugs with two judicial search warrants search two students' rooms at university What nobody tells you about sleeping in a Snowtel Wait. A YouTube personality who started out as one thing became something else entirely as soon as it looked like it was more profitable? My fainting couch. Fetch it America is getting stupider "Surrender or Die" is simple, elegant, and yet not at all a good proposal for a peace plan The Supreme Court is about to declare DEI a thoughtcrime 'Dr. Cold Fingers' The volcano alert level is at yellow, will be changed to brown-in-underpants if the thing erupts Alaska Airlines is the airline with which you do not fark Day 1,115 of WW3. The prospects for peace must be getting better, because McD's has resumed serving breakfast in Ukraine. Pooty-Poot tries to rules-lawyer proposed cease-fire plan, and more cotton in Krasnodar. This is your Friday Ukraine War thread Up to now, it has been legal to torture people in Hawaii Restaurant pays compensation to over 4,000 diners after complaints that their hotpot broth had a little wang to it Trump golf course in Ireland gets new holes BC women held in detention indefinitely, without breaking any laws, ICE strikes again The future is now Reset the clock An auto repair shop owner is determined to find his pet kitten after he says his pet was stolen by two girls on their way to school. If the mom or dad sees the cat in the house, please return it to me. "It's not right" That's using your head Reading, writing, amphetamine Any ghost fart is alarming, but China's ghost cities are particularly gassy You can get a luxurious facial in a jail cell. Must...resist...easy...joke

3 pounds of fentanyl recovered in OKC, every cop in the state now calling in dead to work Small tornado attempts to turn Pico Rivera into pico de gallo. Midwest tornado alley Farkers get to use fallen lawn chair meme used for minor earthquakes this time Lap dance bandit busted It seems that the wombat woman in Australia also decided to stroke an echidna and feel one of its paws. Subby suggests she try that with a Dingo next Cults-R-Us starter pack Pickleball for life. Asinine tag shanks Amusing tag Chinese-designed "mega piggery" becomes target of animal rights activists, who say AI-powered multistory pig farming skyscrapers are an abomination "Give us the CBD oil. We have pythons and we're not afraid to use them" No shiat, Sherlock Police seize 1,400 pounds of urchins from a wholesale dealer, which if we're accurately recreating the Gilded Age is probably about forty underage sweatshop workers Subby's betting there's a pretty good chance at least one of those stones could be an Infinity Stone. Might be worth the money That's how CEO's add value: Justifying a child's death since the corpse wasn't frantically trying to stop itself from burning Florida man broke into a mansion while the owners were away to commit a burglary, took his sweet time, even cooked a steak, didn't realize his movements were setting off phone alerts an ocean away that got him caught and connected to other crimes You are now free to shoot about the cabin Police department grapples with staff shortages, potentially leading to dangerous mace or cudgel wrestling incidents Meet Clark Kent's brother he never talks about, where the S stands for something entirely different On this day in history, in 1881, Czar Alexander II was assassinated in St. Petersburg. See, folks, there's always hope The perfect house for your friendly drug cartel boss 4PM Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Christine, Dill and Lucky. Just Asking Questions edition Pirate Bay co-founder and Holocaust denier Carl Lundstrom dead in a plane crash, after finding out that the ground is haaaarrrrrrrrrd Today is National Earmuff Day, so make sure you get up to your ears in muff None more Florida Man

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